17 April 2007


I sat there staring forward in disbelief. Three of them stood in the dock. It was such a surreal feeling. Somebody was speaking. I could hear words but they made no sense.

I was in the dock. Those three were me. It was me in the dock. It was everyone else in the dock. Those above me, those below me and those around me. Everybody else and me. But I stood there alone.

The words I could hear. What words are these? They were accusations. No, it was pure slander. I had done no such thing. I have committed no such sin. And most definitely, no such virtues can be ascribed to me. I am not capable of being so virtuous and good.

Why were such words being flung at me? What had I done wrong? Oh, so the words were meant for others, but for me too! How is that? How can I be responsible for the sins of others? How can I share in the rewards of the virtues of others?

Nobody told me that I am part of everyone. Everyone does not even know this. This fact which I now understand. This fact of life which I should have known.

So the problem of one is a reflection of all? But what could I do? Were my eyes open to what goes on around me? I call myself a Muslim, but I live not according to the guidebook for Muslims.

Is being a Muslim growing a beard? Or performing the 5 prayers as ritualistic as the norm. Or is it paying charity, and in doing so, at times, just appeasing my conscience? Is being a Muslim just being able to talk about what others say is Islam?

These are good but how will they help me in the dock? When I have deep love for wealth and power. When I am deeply racist and savagely materialistic. When I ignore the orphan, the widow and the wayfarer. When I say the greeting of Peace to many, but care not whether they have peace in their lives… Coz what is peace? Does a child without food, a widow without assistance, a society without knowledge and compassion, a people without sincerity; does anyone of know peace?

How did I come to the conclusion that others will understand Quran for me? That I merely need to ask others what to do and when. Why did I just accept it when I was told that Islam is a way of life? How can Islam merely be a way- a way that is followed blindly!

Islam is most definitely a way of life. It is a way of thinking. Living Islam means to use the framework established by the Quran to guide all your thoughts and actions. Not doing something, thinking it to be part of Islam, but not knowing or understanding why or what you are doing. No, that can’t be Islam.

So I step down from the dock. This dream is far from over. This experience is far from a dream. One day I will step into a dock, and after I step out of THAT dock, then only is the dream over. And the Judge of THAT dock, is Judge to whom I need to answer and prove my innocence.


bibi-aisha said...

mayb its just sensitive lil' me, but this brought tears to my eyes. its an old message, but u refreshed it with ur thghts. thank you

irshaad said...

really powerful piece....keep this kinda thing up bru. we always in need of a reminder

queen_Lestat said...

We all live for ourselves, but not necessarily in the right way. We're living to die, but we're not realising that we've got to answer at the end of it all about our time here.

SingleGuy said...


Zahera said...

SubhanAllah- what a beautiful read after a very long time away from your blog bilal :-)
Your words were truly touching! We can never do enough but we can always try!

almira said...

You wrote that, that his hot bro, you got some deep thought. :) Awsome

almira said...

Im sorry I meant to write that is hot.

Shehnaz said...

great post.
take care