25 September 2007

Who is to blame?!

There is something seriously wrong with our society-
One pupil is stabbed to death, as his friend narrowly misses the same fate- others across the country are not as lucky... Three schoolgirls are tied up, and tortured by their classmates, who film their acts on cell phone.
Another schoolgirl is pushed on her back by a group of boys, her legs pushed apart as the boys urge one another to “take a look”.
And that’s all just in the past week.

How does this link up to crime, especially the violent crime that we have become so accustomed to? These ‘crimes’ mentioned above are pretty sick if you ask me- and these are not being perpetrated by hardened criminals that the police are not catching as they are supposed to; neither are they being perpetrated by criminals who suffered from trauma and psychological damage following the brief bit of violence that transition from Apartheid to democracy brought.

No. These crimes are being committed by kids from relatively privileged backgrounds-kids that have the chance to go to fairly good schools- kids that went to schools like you and me.

This can’t be blamed on the government, can’t be blamed on Apartheid, can’t be blamed on the media (or can it?!)... So who is to blame for the sad state of the youth currently? These criminals are the future lawyers, doctors and probably politicians! The future looks bleak...

Come to think of it, its probably the parents who need to shoulder the responsibility for this shit!


farhana said...

well yes parents are partly to be blamed. But you cant blame them exclusively. The media has also contributed to a great degree in 'desensitizing' us as a society . If parents shield their kids exclusively from societal influence. The result is kids who do not fit into our standard of norms. Rather blame television and video games. There's more filth there

Zahera said...

Great post Bilal. Some interesting thoughts. I was thinking the same thing myself a few days ago when i heard of a 10 year old muslim lad being killed by his uncle over some family feud concerning money! SubhanAllah what did that innocent child who had just finished attending the mosque to pray tarawee have anything to do with it all?
A 4 year old was also stabbed in the mouth recently in another city.

Its a bleak future indeed and its worrying to think these are referred to as the c"hildren of the future." Quite honestly i dont see a future.

Disipline, respect and morals have gone out the window and parents are finding it increasingly difficult to control their children. I see alot of parents who in my opinion are just not fit enough to be parents and shouldnt have children! Its damaging and destructive and affects the whole of society. Some parents lack parenting skills and some just give up in dismay cos by the time they realise they have lost control of the situation it is far too late!

I dont know about in SA, but one of the major problems with children and lack of discipline in the UK in general is due to the lack of time spent together as a family. Parents and children are strangers to one another- they dont know each other because they dont spend quality time together and are too busy with other pursuits.

This is not an excuse or justification and neither is it a one sided arguement suggesting that it is exclusively parents who are to blame- but nevertheless, i feel they play a central role and need to be doing more with regards to keeping tabs on their childs development and moral upbringing!
The same goes for muslim parents who harp on about thei child becomming a doctor etc and focusing on secular education. Islamic education is totally discarded and muslims are left disorientated and in conflict with their identity! (Sorry i am digressing here- this has nothing to do with you post).

Media, computer games... im not sure- within reason maybe, but again shouldnt these be controlled to an extent or atleast monitored by the people who are supervising these children?

I think social environment, who your friends are, what youre being taught at home and the examples youre provided with can be very influential and have a profound effect on who you become. Its important to mould a good and upright environment for children so that they can become good people!

Fatima said...

Today kids are being brought up in a more "open society" where nothing seems to be blocked.

I read an article where two 8year old girls molested a 4year old boy.
They were questioned. They saw it on TV. On a soapie.

We think our kids are not paying attention to what we say and do, but they know EVERYTHING. They hear everything. Their minds are like sponges!

However, parents can only do so much.
You teach your child right from wrong, but then they go and do the wrong....who is to blame?

Media? Parents? Teachers? Friends? School? Society?

I guess we have to try our best to bring up our kids and try to be vigilant. Try to bring them to be morally and try to implement islamic values as much as possible.

I guess this is why a lot of people are also turning towards home schooling.

Bilal said...

I know. I didn’t mean that they should be blamed exclusively. But as the others have commented as well, they play the principal role in the childs upbringing- or at least should be. But thanks for your thoughts- points taken...

Wtf?! 10 year old muslim killed for money! That’s shocking- is the UK that bad? Should I reconsider coming to live there! But my tickets already booked...

You bring up quite a few issues, all of which I agree with. What is most interesting about your thoughts- I imagined this to be a hugely South African problem. But I guess it is a universal problem.. Makes you wonder- is this the type of world that anyone would want to bring kids into..

Hey. I agree with you too. On the point of bringing up children to have good morals and Islamic values, I think that’s where many Muslim parents are falling short- and its not only their fault.

The Islam that is predominant in our households and musjids, is a very prescriptive and ritual one- kids even usually leave madrassah at an age when they don’t comprehend the essence of Islam- the fact that they are always shut up and told not to question, just compounds the issues.

What we need is Muslim youth who are brought up to think- critically- and questions, with the aim of gaining better understanding. That’s what I feel we lack big time. And then those kids that don’t understand the essence of Islam become parent who don’t either!

Zahera said...

Bilal- LOL, youve already booked your tickets now :-P too late, but honestly, are you seriously considering moving/living here? What has bought this on if you dont mind me asking and if its not too personal :-)
Its not as bad as other places but yes it has its fair share. You will read about these kind of these everyday in the news- infact its getting worse and security/ safety have become central issues that the government here needs to tackle.

There are cases everyday of young children dying, being stabbed, being robbed, being molested, gun crime, gang fights- you name it. These issues are universal and not exclusive to SA or the UK :-) Thats why parents such as mine are quite vigilant and cautious. I know parents of much younger children also have concerns- but on the contrary children these days seem to have alot more freedom than in my times. I see alot of kids roaming around the streets with nothing better to do and i question why they are not being encouraged to use their time more wisely. One of the main things to come out of observations such as the one i have mentioned is the introduction of more youth clubs- in the hope to get kids motivated in achieving and pursuing goals. I think its a great incentive but one that needs to be avaiable to many more people that it currently is being.

It does make yuo wonder whether this is the kind of world youd want to bring kids into, but then Alhamdullilah theres just as much good going on and i guess the negatives shouldnt outweight the positive. An interesting debate i have been having with many people recently is the option of moving to an, "Islamic country." Many muslims feel this is a better option for their children and family life as a whole and they also believe it has many benefits in relation to keeping society in ordr (clearly these are the people who are for Shariah law)- its an interesting debate.

Bilal said...

Hey, you type a lot!
I am coming to work in London for 6 months- with my company.
email me: hooligan786 at gmail dot com

And points taken. Problem is, which 'Muslim' country can you go to- in my opinion, there aren't many! Or any that I would consider...

Bibi-Aisha said...

Is there anything left for me to say? za said it all:-) think of the way we were brought up. Our tv viewing was limited, we watched kideo and not yotv,which shows adult music videos. 10yr olds weren't hanging out at the mall with their frnds. I think i did that only when i was 14-and it was a sat aftn with my mum in the mall too. Kids are growing up too fast,are exposed to aspects of life they can't assimilate,thus affecting their psyche. Blame it all-parents,media,society. I'm so scared of what the world will be like when we have kids. You're right bilal-there's no decent muslim country to live in

Bilal said...

Shucks- you make it sound even worse! But u are so right. What can we do though, if anything? Should something be done to change this. Or will we sit back and keep pointing blame?
Any ideas?

Zahera said...

loooll I happen to talk alot too :-P Ahh cool! working in london- shall send you an email shortly inshaAllah :-)
Well thats why i wrote, "Islamic country." lol Is there such a thing anymore?

irshaad said...

its not much the frequency with which these things happen, but the nature of the incidents.

how do we fix it? is it even fixable?

if it is,the change starts small, with us...we gta fix what we can when we can and hope others follow

Sofi said...

Bilal coming to London? Woohoo! Dont expect too much and you wont be disappointed. We're riddled with knife and gun crime atm.. just among a few small problems..! :(